don't call me crazy, just buy me that timeless wail

He grasps my arms tightly. So much so I know there will be bruises the next morning.

"Stop it, Peter" I whisper, my voice trembling with this turn of events.

"Or what" Peter taunts. He sneers, his eyes blazing and his breath coming in short gasps. As if he'd just run a marathon.

The wind picks up. I hear it whistling through the otherwise eery, uncomfortable silence that pervades. A chill runs down my spine and I blink and close my eyes. A solitary tear rolls down my left cheek and I think to myself, 'where do we go from here?'

Peter's unkempt hair sits awry. The wind that comes through the broken window pulls at it, like a child pulling at his mother's necklace. I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt that at this point in time it is all I can think about. I cannot help him. I have tried. And I have failed. There is so much to say and yet there is nothing.

Peter turns away. He has let go of my arms. His shoulders are hunched and his posture submissive. He looks like he is in pain and it is all I can do not to reach out to him and embrace him. Moments pass, and I become aware of the ticking of my watch.

"I love you Peter" I say. I cannot stop the tears now, even if I wanted to. He turns back to me. His eyes crinkle at the corners and I can just see him working it all out in that beautiful brain of his. Slowly he nods.

"I care about you too" he says solemnly, "but I can only spend a maximum of two hours with you every day. I have to play soccer at 5pm. And then I have to practice my guitar playing for 45 minutes. And then comes dinner....". At this he trails off.

I wait, patience is my name.

"I can only spend two hours with you" he reinforces and nods once. And then once more.

It is the best I will get and I take it. I sniff surreptitiously and at once he is wiping away my tears. It is the best I will get and I smile at this beautiful boy, my beatiful boy with Aspergers Syndrome.

I cannot let him go but the future is marked with uncertainty. All I know is that I will be beside him for as long as he will let me.