Thursday, October 15, 2009

don't call me crazy, just buy me that timeless wail

He grasps my arms tightly. So much so I know there will be bruises the next morning.

"Stop it, Peter" I whisper, my voice trembling with this turn of events.

"Or what" Peter taunts. He sneers, his eyes blazing and his breath coming in short gasps. As if he'd just run a marathon.

The wind picks up. I hear it whistling through the otherwise eery, uncomfortable silence that pervades. A chill runs down my spine and I blink and close my eyes. A solitary tear rolls down my left cheek and I think to myself, 'where do we go from here?'

Peter's unkempt hair sits awry. The wind that comes through the broken window pulls at it, like a child pulling at his mother's necklace. I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt that at this point in time it is all I can think about. I cannot help him. I have tried. And I have failed. There is so much to say and yet there is nothing.

Peter turns away. He has let go of my arms. His shoulders are hunched and his posture submissive. He looks like he is in pain and it is all I can do not to reach out to him and embrace him. Moments pass, and I become aware of the ticking of my watch.

"I love you Peter" I say. I cannot stop the tears now, even if I wanted to. He turns back to me. His eyes crinkle at the corners and I can just see him working it all out in that beautiful brain of his. Slowly he nods.

"I care about you too" he says solemnly, "but I can only spend a maximum of two hours with you every day. I have to play soccer at 5pm. And then I have to practice my guitar playing for 45 minutes. And then comes dinner....". At this he trails off.

I wait, patience is my name.

"I can only spend two hours with you" he reinforces and nods once. And then once more.

It is the best I will get and I take it. I sniff surreptitiously and at once he is wiping away my tears. It is the best I will get and I smile at this beautiful boy, my beatiful boy with Aspergers Syndrome.

I cannot let him go but the future is marked with uncertainty. All I know is that I will be beside him for as long as he will let me.

22 comments:

Dream Sequins said...

That was lovely! I'd love to read more.

Valencia Lia said...

Wowwww,you write really well !! Is there going to be a part 2 or evem more ??

So excited ! and do check out my latest post for where I got everything.

your comment made me laugh <3 <3

Yofany said...

you're really talented! love it

St├ęphanie said...

So lovely !

Keith said...

That was really cool. I quite enjoyed it. I hope you share more with us.

Anika said...

Thanks so much folks, will try and write more, expand...this was a spur of the moment thing...was inspired to write, so I did :)

(I even had an outfit post lined up....)

SR@MyStyle said...

Hi there-what a lovely excerpt of writing, well done indeed my dear, very touching!

PS-my sandals are from a shop called Matalan, which are online, but I got them last year-thanks for your lovely comment! From Sharon Rose

Couture Carrie said...

Darling Anika! A hidden talent! So beautifully written :)

xoxox,
CC

Clarity said...

I was just waiting to pick that brain of yours, thank you for sharing it yourself. I knew you had more to share after seeing your book list, I like the fashion posts but this is one of the most riveting blog reads I have had in a while, peace and love, XXX.

Tights Lover said...

That is really good. I'd love to hear more. I wanna know what happens next!!

Sher said...

You say "I love you" he replies "I care for you" so shy of the L word LOL!

I'll say it. Love your writing :)

bryna said...

sad. you should definitely post more.

indigotangerine said...

sounds intruiging! are you writing a book?
-indigo

Summer said...

Great written here. Love it so much. =D

Summer
A Writers Den
Brown Mestizo

battered couture said...

this is so nice. You should give us things like this more often.

daisychain said...

you are an incredible writer.

Serg Riva said...

interesting.

have you heard about this guy?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Page_(music_critic)

might be helpful?

Clara said...

adorei o post anterior!
x

Feelmore said...

captivated till the end! hope there is more in store...

Girl With The Bow Tie said...

Very lovely! This would make a beautiful short film, or something. I was kind of envisioning it as one in my head. Great writing!

Thanks so much for stopping by!
girlwiththebowtie.blogspot.com

Bella said...

Such a tease, but such a great excerpt... curious as to what events will transpire!

Amazing that you shared this with everyone babe! xxx

PH said...

you are writing!

I love your necklace simile; delicate foreshadowing...

anika, I love it, I want more!